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  Random Joke

IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY

I feel the following is probably not "Politically Correct" but it's rather entertaining anyway! The correct accent should be used when reading them.
ARTERYThe study of paintings
BACTERIABack door of a cafeteria
BARIUMWhat doctors do when patients die
BOWELA letter like A,E,I,O,U
CAESARIAN SECTION  A neighbourhood in Rome
CAT SCANSearching for a kitty
CAUTERISEMade eye contact with her
COMAA punctuation mark
DILATETo live longer
ENEMANot a friend
FESTERQuicker
FIBULAA small lie
GENITALNot a Jew
HANGNAILCoat hook
IMPOTENTDistinguished - well known
LABOUR PAINGetting hurt at work
MEDICAL STAFFA doctor's walking stick
MORBIDA higher offer
NITRATESCheaper than day rates
NODEWas aware of
OUT PATIENTA person who has fainted
PAP SMEARA fatherhood test
PELVISA cousin of Elvis
RECOVERY ROOMA place to do upholstery
RECTUMDanq near killed 'em
SECRETIONHiding something
SEIZURERoman Emperor
TABLETA small table
TERMINAL ILLNESSGetting sick at the airport
TUMOURMore than one
URINEopposite of you're out
VARICOSENearby
VEINConceited


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